Hello friends, both music lovers and hifi gear aficionados alike. I have been away, I have been unwell: a discomfiture of mind and emotion, that has taken me to some low places. This in itself is not a rare thing, many of you will know and have your own experiences to share. Or not share.
This particular hole of mine (one of many over time) was triggered by nothing I can perceive, and was terribly deep, so it took me a long while to climb out of.
Well the whole truth
It’s like the story of a wave unfurled
But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide
Froze it up from inside
Am I cured? No. But I am better, functional, and (I think) happy. I feel I have learned a lot this time though the cycle. I owe to many people apologies. Not for being ill as such, but for not engaging or communicating; for letting orders take far too long to ship. You have all been so patient, and many of you have sent kind wishes and words, which I am coming to appreciate very much. If I have left you hanging for a reply that never came, or waiting anxiously for an order that nearly took forever to arrive, I am truly sorry for that. I hope that you can give me and ABCaudio another chance. And Colin as well, his designs and creations deserve to be taken seriously in any system.
Since we last spoke, our main achievement, the one I am celebrating the most, is surviving and staying afloat. Orders are once again shipping, backlogs cleared, communications are opening up. Colin's cable designs continue to amaze and delight in every system they go to, and Colin continues to build crazy things.
ABCaudio and EWA have a busy order book for February already, which is great! The oldest outstanding order is from early January as we are waiting on some lovely Furutech plugs to arrive. Other than that, orders are now getting shipped within ten working days of ordering. Everything being hand build and assembled over several days.
I would like to say that if you are detecting something very familiar about what I have been saying, that you might understand these things only too well, and that you also may be experiencing something similar, don't isolate yourself. You likely need help a lot earlier than you think you do. I certainly did: I already know I wasn't great from about July last year onwards, and I started seeking help around late September. Now as I look back, I think it may have started even earlier; my last blog entry was in May 2022 - almost a year ago, this is a huge surprise to me.
And it felt like a winter machine
That you go through and then
You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound
So if you have been struggling to connect with people, if music is not doing what it should to you, and if others are getting worried for you or frustrated with you; act. Please. It is a slow road to realisation, and there may be no recovery per se or in absolute terms, but things can be much, much better; and they should be. Even on those days when you can only give five percent, do not beat yourself up: That five percent is your one hundred percent in absolute terms, and you are giving everything you can. Just surviving a day can be a profound victory, so be proud of that.
And when I chose to live
There was no joy - it's just a line I crossed
It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost
So I was not lost or found
So, back to HiFi: It is a journey, one that mirrors where we are in life. Enjoy it, engage with it, do things with it that makes you happy, or excited, or relaxed. Whatever you need. And know that we, that is ABCaudio and many others in the hifi community, are here for you.
Lyrics from 'After All' by Dar Williams
from the album 'Great Many Companions' in 2010